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“Their bond is beautiful & with each bedtime kiss we thank them for choosing us”
Published: November 21, 2017
It’s almost 7 years since Poppy and her husband adopted two young brothers. She shares their story in our latest sibling themed blog.
First-time parents and four months into our adoptive placement, excitement and jubilation at finally having the family we longed for – and without any warning, a knock at the door. That familiar face, our bushy-haired social worker .Was he coming to check on us, or just for a cup of tea and slice of cake? He likes my cake.
It’s as if everything is moving in slow motion as the words come out of his mouth. Are we hearing this correctly? It’s only been four months since our little boy was placed into our arms and there it is… Birth mother is pregnant again, actually very pregnant. The baby will be a full sibling to our son. Decisions, decisions, decisions.
“I will leave you to think about it, and you can call or email me in a few days,” he says. He finishes his cake, drinks the last drops of his tea and heads out of the door with a smile and a wave to our gorgeous bundle. We look at each other. No words, just look. No words are spoken between us because we both know that there is only one decision. We always wanted two children and once we realised that giving birth was not in our future, we never imagined full siblings would be possible. In terms of timing, this is much sooner than we’d ever expected. Our first son is only a few months old and here comes number two?
“Don’t email him until tomorrow” my husband says. “Make him think that we at least needed to think about it overnight”. Is this actually happening to us? Excitement, giggles and little bit of “what the hell are we doing?” grabs hold of us over the coming couple of months, but the decision has been made. We will be a family of four.
Our second son arrives only days after our first son’s first birthday. New parents, two children under the age of two. Oh boy! Talk about baptism by fire!
I’d be lying if I said that it was all plain sailing from there, but at the end of every exhausting day, with both our babies sleeping peacefully in their cots, we knew that we’d been blessed in a way in which we had never imagined possible. That feeling has never left us.
Our two boys may be full siblings, but are as different as night and day. They look very similar, and baby brother has overtaken on the growth chart, but they have completely different personalities and are both fantastic in different ways. Our first boy, our “Doodlebug”, is a deep thinker, cautious and thoughtful, confident and social. Toys and games do not interest our Bug. Whatever room you are in, Bug has to follow. Daddy’s “man drawer” isn’t safe since he has learned how to use a screwdriver. If it has screws, it’s been taken apart and the insides fully investigated. Son number two, our “Buster”, is exactly as his name describes him: rough and tumble, always wearing the experiences of the day on his school jumper, a real foodie with a taste for the unusual. Mustard on scrambled eggs? Absolutely! Wasabi-covered peanuts? What’s all the fuss about? He held open the door for a classmate’s mum just yesterday and I heard the words come out of his mouth “After you, beautiful lady” So full of life and energy, our gorgeous, cheeky boy.
These two boys completely adore each other, but still fight over every trivial matter. It’s exhausting, but we never question our decision. They are together and the four of us are a family. When Doodlebug hurts himself, Buster runs to get a cold flannel. If it’s treat time and Mummy opens the biscuit barrel, Buster will always make sure he takes two, one for him and one for his big brother. They whine, they argue, they pinch and poke when Mummy and Daddy aren’t looking. They fight over who is going to sit in what car seat and which bedtime story to have, but ask if they are ready for separate bedrooms and it’s as if you’ve suggested one will be carted away to boarding school!
Nearly seven years on and the snack box and fruit bowl have to be refilled at least twice a week. Doodlebug sits down to breakfast every morning and orders his usual (dry toast and Weetabix with fresh fruit), Buster waits for his plate to arrive and scrunches up his nose in disappointment when he is told he cannot put jalapenos on his peanut butter toast. The school run is a manic time: will I get to work in time for my first meeting? Where are your shoes? Why didn’t you tell me last night you needed 20 cupcakes for class today? We are loaded into the car, seatbelts fastened and “Mummy, I need a wee!”l… How our lives have changed! Every day the boys teach us something new.
With excitement and a healthy bit of trepidation, we look forward to the coming years and watching them grow into young men. Whatever is in their future, we know that they will be there for each other. Their bond is beautiful and, although they have no idea we are doing it, with each bedtime kiss we thank them for choosing us.